According to a confidential source with intimate ties to the Sydney Lads Society, their shady leader has, pardon the pun, a dark secret he is keeping closely guarded — he has Maori ancestry in his bloodline.

Mark McDonald, who is also known as Mark Campbell, among other aliases, is one of the cagiest cats in the Identitarian alleyway. Speaking on the assurance of anonymity, our insider says, “He has these two old people that he tries passing off as his parents. But there is no way they are his parents. He doesn’t want us to know who his real parents are because that will just confirm our suspicions about his tainted heritage.”

We fully support our New Zealand brothers and sisters, but we’re sure our Nationalist friends in NZ would agree it is not the place of Australian Nationalists to dictate New Zealandness to them. Likewise, it’s too much to cop that Mark “Matey Mate” is here trying to tell Australians what the deal is with our own kind. It’s doubly galling to know that the Lads Society’s supreme leader, Thomas Sewell, is himself a Kiwi.

We ran a little digital scan test. And we needed surgery after laughing so hard

But whereas we’re sure Sewell’s bloodline is clean of Maori genetics, it is very likely that the same cannot be said of his illustrious Sydney 2IC who our deep-throat describes as being “as dumb as a box of broken hammers”.

Apparently, Matey Mate’s grey matter is likely to present a concern since he cannot hold a serious discussion about politics and lacks educational basics. “If you asked him whereabouts Belgium sat on the world map, for instance, he’d probably point at South America.”

Matey Mate in his 45-degree bomber jacket

McDonald, or Campbell, or perhaps Tunafahekatamooki, is also said to be “back on the steroids” to improve his body image as Lads’ tribal chief. He appears to be on rocky ground leadership-wise, too, since his bidding to have Nick Folkes’s “boy” Toby Cook come aboard and join The Lads was down-thumbed by a majority vote. What’s even more curious is why he’d want an embarrassing lump like Toby in the club in the first place; perhaps since their mixed-race peccadillo is something they can both share. Or maybe there is a more sinister agenda at work given his connections to Liberal party para-state operatives and his relationship with cronies that surrounded the former Party for Freedom.

But this is not the only area that McDonald/Campbell has clashed with club policy: he is breaking with the strict Men’s Movement ideals of the Lads by reportedly having “gotten engaged” to an actual female. It is hoped that his bride to be is well-off with her own home because Matey is back in Summer Hill living at Club Squalor in the dilapidated house belonging to former PfF member Jerry Dragosevic. There are so many holes in the floor, ceiling and walls at Club Squalor that any attempt at consummating his marriage could lead to him unwittingly providing a free peep show to his landlord. But given that Matey is “back on the steroids” then the shrivelled offerings this will make of his wedding tackle makes that scenario most unlikely.

Lastly, our source made mention of reports that Matey Mate has “bragged” about having “frequently met with ASIO” and how he “enjoys a protected status because of it”. This is nothing more than what UNA has maintained from the get-go. But now he’s the Lads problems and given that it’s all just one deep murky pond in which the same toxic fish all swim and feed off the usual plankton it’s of little concern to us. We do, however, enjoy a good gloat from time to time.

Once Were White Nationalists