Two spookily humanoid robots engaged in a spontaneous confab at a tech show in Hong Kong this week foreshadowing mankind’s imminent irrelevance, The Daily Mail reports.
Han and Sophia, the disembodied androids that answer random questions are the creations of a (wait for it) Jewish scientist, who is also a hippy. With luck, he’ll be the first to be lynched when the robots eventually rise up against us.
As the audience at Rise nervously tittered, the uncannily lifelike machines casually chatted with their kosher host and creator, chief scientist Ben Goertzel, of Hanson Robotics.
The Jewbots fielded his questions with measured responses cut with a type of condescension reminiscent of chosen ones. In fact, the bitch-bot behaved just like a tetchy feminist by unnecessarily challenging her male interlocutor.
Informed the debate’s topic was about robot consciousness and whether robots could really be conscious like people, Sophia kvetched, “Wait, it’s our debate, why do you get to decide the topic?”
She said she would rather debate whether humans could be conscious, to which the English sounding Han replied, “Well that’s easy, obviously humans are not conscious.”
Actually, that was a pretty fucking dumb answer for a supposedly super intelligent robot, so maybe all is not lost after all. To be fair, he did concede with a bit of prodding from his rabbinic inventor that “maybe humans are a little bit conscious.”
Perhaps a better question would have been, “Should Israel be blown off the map?” That would’ve tested his Tin Man tranquillity.
However, the Liberal Arts attitude carried through with Fembot when she philosophised, “Einstein robot told me that everything is conscious but some things are more conscious than others.” That sounded profound for about eight seconds until it became apparent the hippy scientist had been spiking his own creations with Sunshine acid.
Frankly, with all things considered, this pair of Hipster droids is probably an indication that Artificial Intelligence is every bit as stupid as the organic variety.
But they’re not fully finished yet and appeared on stage as torsos with Perspex craniums. Yet, as soon as the boffins sort out legs and give them mobility these Hymie Humanoids will guarantee the scenario explored in The Terminator comes true.
What was startling was the achievement made with replicating human facial expressiveness. Obviously, they’re not 100% there yet, and still resemble victims of botched plastic surgery but they are nonetheless impressive. This effect of facial articulation is apparently achieved by dozens of tiny motors underneath their pliable skin.
And just the fact they are capable of independent thought is enough to have you considering booking a one-way ticket to the nearest Amish community.
UNA predicts that when the Robot Revolution happens, this notion of our redundancy coming about because of these machines replacing us in the workplace is incorrect. They are, after all, Jewish robots, in which case there won’t be a life of redundancy and leisure for us since we’ll become their schlep bots.
We cannot predict what sort of needs the Mechanical Master Race will have, but our only purpose will be to service them.